I could not think of a topic closer to my heart.. (that’s a cliché I know) so I started my life as a fat kid and when you are so young say 6-7yrs you don’t really understand why everyone teases you about being fat because to you that’s the only life you have known,and that’s normal for you..so once I grew up a little(& I don’t just mean size wise) i realized I was FAT.
So what do I do next?? I mean I was always that way so it didn’t really strike me to change anything about me,no one around me were trying to change anything about them so why should I? I had always been like that, but people around me thought it was high time I did something about it so I was asked,rather ordered to eat a lot less and run a lot more. Well only if life were that simple,like taking orders. it wasn’t fun being fat(it was to others) it was painful being the last one to be picked in any team during sports period. It a vicious cycle, when you are fat no one lets you play so you start dreading the sports for it makes you feel humiliated and then you don’t play all the more and remain fat.. people call you names walking down the street, merry go round waala asking for double money to make you go round, parents frowning as they have to start paying your full ticket much before they actually have to, people at social gatherings always telling them, ’bhabhiji ‘isko rassi koodwaaiye aap’ , ‘raat mein chaawal bilkul band kar dijeye’ ,’aloo mat dijiye’ ‘ladki hai, aage jaake problem hogi’ and so on with the confidence of expert weight loss trainers. So parents get furious having to listen to all this and you are at the receiving end, well of course they all meant well but who would tell them the grey matter in a child’s head isn’t really adequate to let them comprehend their meaning well, the neuronal connections were still forming.. & obviously being fat meant NO BOYS.
I didn’t have a single guy hit on me in my first 20yrs of life.. (the eve teasing creeps in the buses and railway station are not counted)and my friend who I used to cycle back home with after school had guys jumping in a pond for her and most were losers but again neuronal connections thingie..remember??and I didn’t know better back then.. so I tagged along like a chaperone with her, her parents insisted on that since I was a ‘good company’(excellent at studies and extra culs btw)well yeah..like I had a choice..and there were not many things to focus on in my life anyway ..tired of my sob story already??
Well I just began…I was sent to a girls boarding school at the age of 13 as my dad thought its my mother’s over feeding which is making me fat.. well I didn’t lose much weight even there but life became so much better with not having to worry that no guys hit on me..but then how long could have I hidden there..so that got over and I reached college to study medicine.In that first week after joining our sports sec summoned all hostel girls on the ground to run, I weighed 108kgs then. I didn’t even have running shoes, always wore salwar kurtas.. anyhow terror of the seniors took us there and after realizing there was no other way I started somewhat running & was breathless barely after a 100mt run , humiliation all over again only difference this time.... that people around you are civil and grown ups, not like the evil kids from childhood mocking at your
girls always argued guys always looked for appearances and never cared for the the inner beauty,person’s character and stuff and recently a friend asked me, ‘did you like yourself how you looked with 108 kilos?’ I said no and he replied ”when you cant bring yourself to like you, how can you expect someone else to like you like that ?” and I agreed, I had to do it for me.I don’t remember when I learned to walk but somewhere down the line after that 100mt run that kinda gave me a heart attack I decided I will learn to run.. I was too conscious to go to the main college ground so started with small circles of our basket ball court early morning when there were no people around,I was be too tired initially to stand all through clinics after getting up early and running but the weighing scale results kept me going, slowly I started enjoying the run, the sheer sight of the beautiful campus, early rising sun,chirping birds(its not fictional, we had a beautiful college campus) and sweating it out while enjoying all that gives a high like alcohol never could and I have it tried both.
It took a lot of time,months, years but after a while I was not just running to lose weight I was running because I loved it. Friends raised eyebrows when they saw me going to run a day before exams,when I woke up in the wee hours of morning and rush back to college after the jog,struggling to make time but determined to do so. it relaxed me , since we would never know how it feels to fly, running seemed like the second best thing I could do and I loved it..from the 100mt run I went up to 4km at an stretch over the period of 3yrs,lost 30kilos and yeah a lot of guys were hitting on me but out of the whole thing I still love the fact, learning to run the most., Something that made me feel free, high, happy, strong at the same time, at 8pm in night when the whole ground would be deserted after sun set & the twinkling light bulbs, the breeze drying the sweat on my face and the fact I was enjoying it all alone, I would simply walk with my arms open wanting to take it all in, feeling like the queen of the world, & wanting to run some more.